photograph each day 31 January 2007
hello sunshine
I never got around to writing that New Year post. School has been dreadful, but at least I'm learning --- to perfectly encapsulate my feeling towards this whole thing, limbo. Neither here nor there, not fulfilling but I get the job done. I'm not being antagonistic towards my Nursing student life, but theories and ideas are getting old. I want to be out there --- meaning, application.
Music and photography has been my constant redemption. I've been waiting for Dad's SLR which my cousin borrowed, but then I figured I didn't want to waste time having my pictures developed and scanning them just so I could save them in the computer. So I guess the best thing to do now is wait for my grandparents (who will be here in May, hopefully with Kristoffer) and ask for a digital camera for my birthday. My desire to pass portfolios or head over to go-see days will come to a halt as of now, because it's futile to push through without a professional camera. Imagine editors asking you about your "weapon of choice", or something in that line, and you holding up a 5 megapixel digicam with pink jewel stickers all over. NOT the way to enter the industry haha.
And let me tell you about my Hello Sunshine Boy, who keeps making bizarre entrances into my life but very much welcome nonetheless. He amuses me and he's very odd sometimes, like you can't decipher what he's trying to say, but he's definitely trying to say something. Far from a rock and roll guy, because I've learned from Joni Mitchell. He's smart and well-read, but can also level up with my sense of humour. He has no idea that he's my Hello Sunshine Boy. He makes me happy for several reasons he's not aware of.
As for the year that lies ahead, I'm just thankful for numerous things.
I'm thankful for chances which remind me that I could still push through with things I was hesitant about before, for chances which lead me towards creating something out of peculiar situations.
I'm thankful for people who came into my life the past year. I was going along just fine, then they happened and I don't think anything will ever be the same again. Meeting new people and gaining new friends do that to you --- they give you happiness which solitude has robbed you of.
And I'm thankful for Hello Sunshine Boy. As much as I want to deny the fact that a boy, in fact, is making me happy nowadays, it's just too much to contain. I guess there will always be that feminist part of me (I don't know if it does exist, so maybe I need some psychoanalysis haha), or my tendency to become defiant towards anything remotely cheesy. But then someone who has become quite special can burn it down, and all that's left is me.
It would appear we're indestructible, but when people that we consider important leave, we're left wounded. If you should ever make an exit, Hello Sunshine Boy, I'll be bruised. I can regard them as battlescars, but they're visible nonetheless, proof of how vulnerable love can make you.
But then again, you don't have to condense it into something unequivocal. You don't explain love, you form an affinity with it. It will make itself clear in time. When? Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe in another year. Or maybe not ever.
Music and photography has been my constant redemption. I've been waiting for Dad's SLR which my cousin borrowed, but then I figured I didn't want to waste time having my pictures developed and scanning them just so I could save them in the computer. So I guess the best thing to do now is wait for my grandparents (who will be here in May, hopefully with Kristoffer) and ask for a digital camera for my birthday. My desire to pass portfolios or head over to go-see days will come to a halt as of now, because it's futile to push through without a professional camera. Imagine editors asking you about your "weapon of choice", or something in that line, and you holding up a 5 megapixel digicam with pink jewel stickers all over. NOT the way to enter the industry haha.
And let me tell you about my Hello Sunshine Boy, who keeps making bizarre entrances into my life but very much welcome nonetheless. He amuses me and he's very odd sometimes, like you can't decipher what he's trying to say, but he's definitely trying to say something. Far from a rock and roll guy, because I've learned from Joni Mitchell. He's smart and well-read, but can also level up with my sense of humour. He has no idea that he's my Hello Sunshine Boy. He makes me happy for several reasons he's not aware of.
As for the year that lies ahead, I'm just thankful for numerous things.
I'm thankful for chances which remind me that I could still push through with things I was hesitant about before, for chances which lead me towards creating something out of peculiar situations.
I'm thankful for people who came into my life the past year. I was going along just fine, then they happened and I don't think anything will ever be the same again. Meeting new people and gaining new friends do that to you --- they give you happiness which solitude has robbed you of.
And I'm thankful for Hello Sunshine Boy. As much as I want to deny the fact that a boy, in fact, is making me happy nowadays, it's just too much to contain. I guess there will always be that feminist part of me (I don't know if it does exist, so maybe I need some psychoanalysis haha), or my tendency to become defiant towards anything remotely cheesy. But then someone who has become quite special can burn it down, and all that's left is me.
It would appear we're indestructible, but when people that we consider important leave, we're left wounded. If you should ever make an exit, Hello Sunshine Boy, I'll be bruised. I can regard them as battlescars, but they're visible nonetheless, proof of how vulnerable love can make you.
But then again, you don't have to condense it into something unequivocal. You don't explain love, you form an affinity with it. It will make itself clear in time. When? Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe in another year. Or maybe not ever.
